The sun is bright today, but it is not
warm.
Some men are chasing a carrot. Trying
to
win a way in. I don't know how
to tell them
it is not warm
here.
I began only after a kick
in the seat by a stranger. It became
me,
I became it. All into task. Task
and
I, like an arrow.
We all are.
If we could accept the cold, become it,
we might have a chance. I am
trying, been trying
forever
in this cold
The ending feels more right now...but did you change it? Maybe the poem's just working with me differently today.
ReplyDeleteOne request: remove the "or" in that second stanza. Then you have perfection.
I'll have to hear you read this one aloud again. Por Favor.
I changed it. The end is better now.
ReplyDelete