31 August 2011
Consolation (Without A Compass)
Down in the calm guts of mind
(but what are you talking about--
what does that even mean, who's
the size of it--a humanoid
halo
around a brain? the
slip and flotsam of anything
that can be sensed or convened?)
intricate blinks of time
dry up into rainbeads of scenes
that can't think:
the cyrillic alphabet
was formalized by
Russian monks
in the Middle Ages….
Vauvenargues and
De Maistre were
butchers of cold measure,
sharp as aphorisms…
at the northwest base
of Mt. Fuji lies
"The Sea of Trees",
Aokigahara,
where yurei (ghosts)
wander the radius of
their suicides. Forestry
workers often find
bodies
hanging from trees in
various shapes of
decomposition, cut them
down and, according to
custom, in a small hut
sleep next to the body the night after
it's found. Their means of deciding
whose turn it is? Paper rock scissors
(each in their own way a suicide
instrument). Out there in the cold
wastes where trees practice disappearance,
compasses aren't reliable, massive
iron deposits pulse beneath the forest.
Just the place where a person can go
to lose that despairing energy
that's breaking them down into
smaller and smaller versions of itself...
or maybe just where they go
to finally be found, untied, carried.
Then laid carefully on a well-made bed
in a room that's one person less
alone.
alone.
28 August 2011
Metaphor Before The Fall
A life built on wishes--
the shape of
sculpted air
after a house of cards has fallen.
All fifty-two have to implode
to render gravity visible,
even if for one slow second.
To show how the
air still holds. Behind
eyes pressed closed, the outline
of that fragile high rise
framing the silhouettes of
other minds you can't imagine.
In they went, down they go
and for a zero brief moment
to stand alone above the
to stand alone above the
wreckage of hearts and clubs and diamonds.
La Jollans
Thirty two seals bask on a
crescent beach at La Jolla,
molt, flop
against each other like
fat commas, laze in a
private mist of sandflies.
A crowd of cameras and sunglasses
stands over them.
From the voyeuristic heights
of a rock jetty, observers
in a surgical theatre--cheering on
the patient at the expense
of
so many doctors. Because
those cows and calves and
bulls those wallowing clouds
of fudgy sleep fart and budge
like cells exiled from the
ocean's
dimpled quaking body, we see then think.
Comedians within, beasts without,
washed ashore
without a map of California
that lay there and free
the smiles trapped in our faces.
"They're like babies," one
lady says, then again in Spanish.
So content and safe
in their species
they can lay there and
weigh not a thing
and assimilate the free innocence
we flounder in, when we
stand above, cheer them on
an hour without envy,
no arms, no legs,
for the art of thriving in one's fat and proving nothing.
The Genealogy of Horrors
Demonology of
discriminate misanthropy, flaws
that feed feeling energy when they're
cracked or sighted. And on the
other end, the advance of one sleeper leaf
after another, but nary a tree to hang on.
Between them,
filiaphilia blossoms like sick phlox, a
fetishization of hug and handshake
and terms of endearment intricately weathered.
It loves, it loves not, but me, me, me…
killing daisies by yanking their sun-wings off
(like the toenails of wishes). On YouTube
the remains of a
2007 interview
with George Carlin, about his
near objective contempt
for the human race. Dressed in
black to emphasize the lack of
wisdom and excess of sharp truth
in his white hair and beard,
he's explaining how he got here.
From disappointment to
disgust, there's
a short walk; but from disgust to
indifference, the way is long
and punctuated and strengthened
by paranoia
and anguish. America had some good ideas
early on, despite slavery et cetera,
but for a while there there was this
golden window when
we could have actually brushed up against
one or two ideals (which we
did, and legislated them). But then
we were too lazy, too entertained
to make it stick [so says
the entertainer]. His
conclusion? Suicide
is a donation
to a worthy cause. Affirms life
by removing the ruinous clutter.
A year or so later he
died of heart failure. Leave it
to the papers to emphasize.
But not the obvious:
given an option, he refused
a transplant.
If They Should Think Ill Of Her
She scared the loneliness in herself
with a homemade Loch Ness--
a monster daydreaming a lake
to create a landborne nightmare.
Each pill was inexplicable. It
hurt to have a head with a
childhood, so she crunched
five or six between her teeth
per day to be flowingly adult
and headless. People are allergens,
with their opinions and desire
to fix things. But what happens
when the hum that binds your
arms and legs and torso and
mental weather together
is also a fatal irritant? Until
you're there and nowhere else
but always elsewhere and
no one, abandoned on the
couch in the middle of the
lightless afternoon, looking at
your hands that open before you,
covered in disappearing hives?
If only sitting there were enough
to make her truthful (and it is).
The people who look at her
and see her and even more than
that, would know who
they were holding when they
put their arms around her.
And so would she. That even
pain is pure and wonderful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)